Saturday, April 05, 2008

O.K., this is for those people who end up here by searching on “rabbit enemies”…

I seem to get several hits a day by people searching on “enemies of rabbits” or "rabbit enemies". I feel badly that I am letting these folks down. I mean, REALLY badly.... They obviously have a real concern, given that they are spending their time searching The Google, worried about what nasty thing is going after their bunnies. Or maybe, actually now that I think about it, maybe they really do desire to find out who the enemies of rabbits really are, so they can get rid themselves of their own troublesome rabbits. You monsters.

So, for those folks who keep ending up here, here is my list of Enemies of Rabbits:

- Elmer Fudd
- The Home Building Industry
- Rattlesnakes
- Teenage kids driving their dad’s car really fast on rural roads
- Daffy Duck
- Judge Doom
- Pancakes (see photo)
- Christopher Hitchens and anyone else who hates Easter
- General Woundwart
- Really big noisy dogs
- The Jefferson Airplane
- Buffalo
- Yosemite Sam
- Mary Kay Cosmetics
- Leopards, pumas, bobcats, tigers, lions, jaguars, wildcats, and any feline bigger than a tabby
- Farmers and others who have gardens that don’t like their carrots messed with
- The Black Rabbit of Inlé
- The Queen of Hearts
- Glenn Close
- Veta Louise Simmons (sister of Elwood P. Dowd, if that one is too obscure for you)
- Janet Leigh and DeForest Kelly
- Tommy Brock
- King Arthur, Sir Lancelot, Sir Robin, Sir Galahad, Tim the Enchanter
- Mr. Urquhart
- Isabeau
- Dudley Nightshade/Ill-regard Beauregard
- Owls, eagles, hawks
- President Jimmy Carter
- Magicians with top hats
- Lady Tottington and Victor Quartermaine
- Gollum and Sam
- Mr. McGregor
- Natasha Kinski
- Ray-O-Vac batteries

There. That should do. Glad to be able to help you out. (For the more obscure references in the list, you might try the Internet Movie Database, link at right.)

UPDATE: Well, that didn't help much. I still got about four hits today by people searching on variations of "rabbits" and "enemies". And they all got directed to my post of early last year titled "Enemies", which has absolutely nothing to do with rabbits. This one doesn't show up at all. Well, that attempt at humor was certainly wasted.

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